I'm Shocked, But I Don't Know Why
I've been seeing this picture a lot on Facebook, and hadn't really paid much attention to it:
My only thought was, "Aww, how cute! Daddy and Kiddos Time!" Okay, that was my first thought - I also thought, "Dang, that guy is good looking..." What? I'm human. So sue me.
But I eventually read the attached blog post, I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal, because so many people I respect kept posting it. Allow me to say, "Oh. My. Gosh." Seriously, people? I had no idea that people would look at this picture and end up condemning the father!
I should have, though.
I work full-time, and my schedule is strange. I work days, I work nights, I work weekends; every month, I'll pull at least one 10-day stretch, with the next four days off. People start to get shocked when I mention I have kids. "Ah," they'll say, "What do you do when they're not in school?" Well, actually, we homeschool. "What?? How do you manage that??" Well, Michael is a full-time student, and he teaches one class, but he can work from home most of the time. He also does most of the cooking and cleaning and such. We make it work.
And everyone is flabbergasted that my husband is the primary caregiver and homeschooling parent. Why? No one thinks it odd for the families I know that have that reversed - where the father works outside the home, and the mother works from home and/or part-time and manages the household while homeschooling the kids. Our kids aren't too scarred by the experience:
So I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at the reaction this awesome dad up there has encountered. But I can still be disheartened by it.
In the same line, I'd be remiss if I didn't direct you all to this post as well: TIME FOR A (DIAPER) CHANGE. Because, seriously, we should stop trying to delineate out Mommy and Daddy Roles, and focus on Parent Roles.
Links! (An awful lot of them, actually...)
My only thought was, "Aww, how cute! Daddy and Kiddos Time!" Okay, that was my first thought - I also thought, "Dang, that guy is good looking..." What? I'm human. So sue me.
But I eventually read the attached blog post, I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal, because so many people I respect kept posting it. Allow me to say, "Oh. My. Gosh." Seriously, people? I had no idea that people would look at this picture and end up condemning the father!
I should have, though.
I work full-time, and my schedule is strange. I work days, I work nights, I work weekends; every month, I'll pull at least one 10-day stretch, with the next four days off. People start to get shocked when I mention I have kids. "Ah," they'll say, "What do you do when they're not in school?" Well, actually, we homeschool. "What?? How do you manage that??" Well, Michael is a full-time student, and he teaches one class, but he can work from home most of the time. He also does most of the cooking and cleaning and such. We make it work.
And everyone is flabbergasted that my husband is the primary caregiver and homeschooling parent. Why? No one thinks it odd for the families I know that have that reversed - where the father works outside the home, and the mother works from home and/or part-time and manages the household while homeschooling the kids. Our kids aren't too scarred by the experience:
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| They do have a disproportionate love for zombies... |
So I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at the reaction this awesome dad up there has encountered. But I can still be disheartened by it.
In the same line, I'd be remiss if I didn't direct you all to this post as well: TIME FOR A (DIAPER) CHANGE. Because, seriously, we should stop trying to delineate out Mommy and Daddy Roles, and focus on Parent Roles.
Links! (An awful lot of them, actually...)
- Happy birthday, William Hartnell! Learn more about the man who played the First Doctor and began a legend!
- More Doctor Who, here's The First And Last Lines Of Every Doctor
- JPL Library Staff Favorite Reads of 2013: My contributions were The Ocean at the End of the Lane and A Canticle for Leibowitz. Both were awesome, both come highly recommended, as do several other books on this list.
- Book Recommendations Based on Kids TV Shows: When people are looking for a good book to read, and can't think of a book they've read recently and liked, I always ask about TV shows. It works wonders for reluctant readers.
- 40 Maps That Will Help You Make Sense of the World: Neat! I like maps. Some of these are great; some of these make me sad. All of them are interesting.
- Why to care about theology: This will be especially interesting to my pastor and Christian friends, but I think any of you with an interest in Christian theology should take a look. The author has posted the introduction to a book he's writing, described as "a systematic theology for ordinary people." I, for one, think it's an awesome idea, and I hope the resulting work is just as awesome.
- Drinking Too Much? Don't Count On Your Doctor To Ask: I don't think I've ever had a doctor ask about my drinking habits when I wasn't pregnant. I can't imagine why they don't ask more.
- To Make Healthier Choices, Color-Code Your Food (Green Means Go!): This is a great idea, and one that seems to work. I'd like to see this implemented in restaurants. Of course, most fast food places would be painted red...
- Introducing Jelly: This looks cool. I think I'll try it. Must be careful - might get stung. (Ha! Get it? I'm hilarious.)
- Serpent d’Océan: Giant sea snake skeleton! Pretty... (Don't worry - it's art.)
- Alex Marthews Sees the Police State Being Forged and Does Not Like It: It sounds hyperbolic, but, sadly, I don't think it is:
"If we don't fight now, though, the national-security-police-state will win, and it will be our children, or our children's children, who will have to fight. And their fight might look a lot less like the American Civil Rights movement and a lot more like some goddamned bloody unwinable mess like the Syrian Civil War, or the horrific Khmer Rouge paroxysms."
I had seen the picture on yahoo news but hadn't read the story, crazy! I think that people are confused about how "traditional" families actually work. Whenever I see someone start to talk about women being obedient to their husbands I want say, "yes, but do the husbands love their wives as Christ loves the Church?" I've got good news! Being obedient to a man who is at least trying to love his wife as Christ loves the Church is no burden -- partly because that man changes diapers and helps around the house!
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's a lot easier to obey a husband whose every decision is based on what's best for his wife, and who is willing to do whatever it takes, sacrificing everything, to make sure she's alright. If he's doing that - which will, no doubt, require discussing things with her, since he is not omniscient - then they're really making decisions together. And that will definitely include the man stepping up as a father and doing his little girl's hair. Maybe even hosting a tea party or three.
DeleteStill way too many people who don't get that good parenting has nothing to do with race, sex, or sexuality for that matter.
ReplyDelete